December 10, 2008

I went in Wednesday morning to my midwife's office just to get checked and my membranes swept. I was dilated to 4cm and 70% effaced, so she just 'roto-rootered' me really quickly, had me use a breast pump for about 30 minutes and sent me to walk around the mall. We left her office at about 11:00am. My mom, James, Julia and I got out and walked around and had some lunch. I started having some very decent contractions, so we started timing them and they were 2 minutes a part and 40 seconds long. So at about 2:00pm we went back to the birth center and I was 5 cm and my midwife decided we weren't leaving. About an hour later she came in and checked me and I was between a 6 and 7. I wanted in the tub at that point, so I could ease some pain a little. The tub helped, but my midwife didn't want me to deliver in the tub this time because my baby was going to be a bit bigger than I was used to and she didn't want me having trouble in the tub where she couldn't easily get to me (which I was a little bummed about, but understood). So, at about 4pm I moved to the rocking chair and rocked for a while...it helped a bit with the pain as well. All the sudden the contractions became almost unbearable and I felt a lot of pressure. The midwife wasn't in the room, but she heard me scream and came running in with the birth assistant and moved me to the bed....pronto. I had the freedom to push when I wanted to, so I listened to my body and didn't push until it pushed. Tyler made his appearance at 5:20pm and is the biggest of all my kiddos at a whopping 8lbs and 20 inches long...with a 14inch head and a head full of black hair! We were home by 9:00pm and I feel really good...albeit sore! He's feeding like a pro and just the most BEAUTIFUL thing!

This is my third child and for all of you out there that think they will all go the same, think again! This was a very humbling experience for me. I had both of my other babies early at 37 and 38 weeks. So, this was the longest I had been pregnant with any of my kiddos. Another misconception that I had was that he would be small like the other two...HA! I just delivered an 8 lb baby!!! My other two were 5 and 6lbs!

39 Weeks

Yup, he's still in there. Yup, I'm still progressing, but slowly. The midwife says she will break my water if I don't have him by Monday, but I think I could talk her into doing it when I see her tomorrow morning.
Here's hoping and praying!

37 Weeks...He's still in there!

Just another updated. Tyler is still in the womb despite efforts to 'sing' him out on Sunday night. I have progressed a tiny bit and he is definitely in position....but he's still in there. I was a little disappointed at my Midwife visit yesterday. I don't think it was so much that I'm not progressing as much as I hoped, but that I found out that my midwife might not be there to deliver Tyler. Now, you have to know that this happens to me EVERY TIME! With Caleb I delivered in a hospital where you never know who you are going to get to deliver your baby. Well, my midwife started me off, but she's not the one who delivered him. Fast forward to Julia, I had the same midwife as I did with Caleb, but I was to deliver at a birthing center. So, here I am thinking...wow, private practice, I get who I go to for delivery. WRONG! My midwife has double knee replacement surgery and isn't there for my delivery.....which is ok because I met Jean and she delivered Julia. So, Jean is my midwife now and has spent this year really getting into shape and is training for a triathlon. Way cool! So at my last appointment I noticed that she was a little stiff and she said that her bike had thrown her and she hurt her shoulder. Betty, whom I saw yesterday, tells me that she is still very much in pain and that she is supposed to see a dr today about it. Oh I hope that she gets better soon!
Just ranting now, but we're really doing ok. I'm walking like a mad woman and I'm trying to get my work done before this baby gets here. The unpredictablilty of it all, I guess, just drives me nuts!

Baby Update

I had my 36 week appointment today and it just seems like time has just flown by! This is when the appointments start to get fun....you never know if you will make your next one!!! So, I asked my midwife to check me and I am progressing! I won't put the details up for everyone to see, but HERE WE GO! Tyler might be here sooner rather than later. So, please keep us in your prayers. We WILL make it to the ultra fun worship jam this weekend...I can't wait to sing with all of you! It will be so fun! I can't imagine something pleasing the Father more than the Body getting together to fellowship and worship Him! What a blessing!!!!!

See ya there!

Tagged!

My beautiful and charming sister in law, Darrah, tagged me this week in her blog. I thought it was very sweet of her to think of me, so I will respond. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to link to 7 friends' blogs, but we'll find a way. BTW, check out her blog, then follow the links to her website and etsy....she is an amazing artist and I'm so proud of her! darrahdeangooden.blogspot.com

Let's see who I can tag:

Dad: wogblog.wordpress.com
James: gracedonduit.blogspot.com
Melissa: faithacts.wordpress.com
Michael: shapestarsmake.com/blog

Ok, ok, so I don't have 7 friends that blog....I know my friends are in the dark ages. Oh well, you'll have to deal with it!



here are the rules:

1. link the tagger and post the rules
2. post 7 random facts about yourself
3. tag 7 friends and link to them
4. let them know they have been tagged by leaving a nice little message on their blog


so, here are 7 random facts you might not know about me:

1. i would secretly love to be a rock star
2. i would love to take a very long european vacation with my husband one day
3. i catch myself watching Hannah Montana and Zach and Cody by myself sometimes and then wonder why I am watching it
4. i think my kids are the smartest ever
5. i really don't like being pregnant...i love the end result, though.
6. i wish i were as talented at musical instruments like my brothers, but don't have the time to learn new chords...such is life
7. i have craved IHOP through this entire pregnancy and have not been once!

alright, be tagged!

It's over.

Well, we have a new president elect. I, for one, am glad that the election is over. It may not have turned out how a lot of us wanted it to, but there is not much we can do about it now. I am so glad that the debates and commentary will be dying down. I'm really tired of being bombarded with it. I know there are other states that have been even more bombarded with it...like the folks in Ohio, that are even more sick of it all. I do have to say this was the most exciting election I have ever experienced. I think the media played a huge part in all of it, good or bad. I can remember telling James how biased the news reports were. It's crazy...
Anyway, I figured most people would be blogging about the election today and thought I would throw one out there.

Now, to focus on getting this baby born....4-6 more weeks!

Chicken N' Dumplins

MMMMMM, it's that time of year when I start thinking about making my favorite dish. You know, it's cold enough to really enjoy a nice steaming bowl of Chicken N' Dumplins! So, here is the recipe that I use for those days you just want to sit under a blanket next to a fire.
I have also started trying to think of some recipes to make and freeze part of it for when the baby comes and I don't feel like cooking. This is one of those recipes. If you've got one, send it to me!!!!

Ok, here we go...

1 large whole chicken
broth from cooked chicken
3/4 cup milk
2 small cans cream of chicken soup
4 cans (8-10 count) biscuits...not flaky

Boil chicken in large pot until tender. Salt and pepper to taste. Remove chicken to cool and de-bone. Reserve broth in pot. Add milk and soup to broth and bring to a boil on medium heat. Cut biscuits into halves and drop in boiling liquid one at a time, stirring and folding biscuit dough into liquid as they rise. Turn heat down to medium low and let biscuits cook until done. De-bone chicken and fold into dumplings until well mixed. Add salt and pepper as needed. These are best the day after you cook them. Serves 6-8

Miss Julia is 4 today!

I can't believe my kids are growing up so fast! Julia turns 4 today and I remember her birthday like it was just yesterday! Julia is our little monkey! She loves to climb all over things and do summersaults and cartwheels. She's a joy to be around and you NEVER know what will come out of her mouth! She's so funny! She's our free spirit and takes life as it comes. She loves to sing and I'm thinking maybe one day we'll get her up on stage!

Happy Birthday

WOW! 7 Years ago today it happened. Our lives changed forever. I was born into a mother, James was born into a father and our precious son, Caleb was brought into our life. We have learned so much from him in his short life. I just can't believe he is getting so big. Sure he's a normal 7 year old boy, but he's the smartest and one of the kindest kids I know. He likes star wars and video games, but also has a passion for reading and learning new things. He likes science and history (even though he really doesn't know it). He loves his sister and would do anything to protect her! He has such a tender heart and loves Jesus and I know he's going to do something GREAT one day for Him!
So,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CALEB! Mommy and Daddy love you so much! We are truly blessed by you every day!

Another Ultrasound

So I had my second ultrasound for this pregnancy yesterday. I have been very worried this pregnancy. I haven't had any indications that there is anything wrong with my baby, but I have just been more of a worry wart this time. I guess it's normal. Anyway, the ultrasound went well and Caleb got to join us this time, which he LOVED! Tyler weighs somewhere around 2.5lbs and is very healthy. His heart and brain look good. His left kidney is a little large, but we dealt with the same thing with Caleb and we're not worried (about that). The only thing that was different was that he is breech. Just pray that he flips in time!

The above pic is of Tyler looking at us and forming an O with his mouth.

Smile

Caleb and I had a quick breakfast together this morning. In the middle of his doughnut, he looks up and smiles and says, "Mommy, did you know that when you smile you exercise 30 muscles?" It was cute, even cuter than "The human head weighs eight pounds."
I got to thinking about it and smiling has lots of benefits.
1. Smiling makes us attractive.
2. Smiling Changes Our Mood
3. Smiling is Contagious
4. Smiling Relieves Stress
5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System
Smiling helps the immune system to work better. When you smile, immune function improves possibly because you are more relaxed. Prevent the flu and colds by smiling.
6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure
7. Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin
8. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive

Wow, I can't get a ton of exercise these days with being pregnant and all, but I can smile. If it has all of these benefits as well as working over 30 muscles...i'm doing pretty good!

So, take a hint from a 6 year old. Smile.

points taken from http://longevity.about.com/od/lifelongbeauty/tp/smiling.htm

Where were you?

You can't help remember today. 7 years ago, the unthinkable happened right in our backyard. Where were you? Me? I was pregnant with Caleb and it was my first day of bedrest! I walked into the living room and turned on the T.V. hoping to find something fun to watch, but instead was horrified to see the 2nd plane hit the 2nd tower of the World Trade Center. I had to watch all day the horrific images of the towers falling, our nations security center breached, and heard the stories of the heroes who were there.
We remember today the many, many lives that were lost and the ones that are still out there fighting for answers to the questions.

My How You've Grown!

I was taking some pictures of our dear "Liz" the other day and noticed how much he had grown! I didn't realize that he was going to get so big! I guess I know nothing about lizards...and I don't! They're pretty easy pets, though.
I've noticed growth in other places, too...my belly for one..is getting bigger as Tyler grows. He should be around 2lbs. about now. I'm in the last trimester! The next three months are going to fly with the holidays and Caleb's school and the business!
I've noticed that Caleb has grown in height. Last year he was one of the smallest kids in his class, yet he's the oldest. This year, he's still small, but catching up with his pals! He's also growing in wisdom. It's really cool to see the questions he asks in comparison to the ones he would ask last year. The things he is concerned about are different and he's more aware of what people think of him. It's a 'blessing and a curse' kind of deal.
Julia is growing! We've been working on her room this week, getting it ready to be 'all hers'. The baby is coming and will be invading her space in Caleb's room, so we've painted her room to make it a little more special. She got to pick out the colors and I got a great idea from Cindy Foote's blog with the polka dots. We're not done yet, but she is very proud of it!
Growth, it's continually happening! It's amazing how it seems that it happens all the sudden, but it is a process! God lets us see glimpses of the process, but nobody is finished growing yet!

Why?

It looks like everywhere we turn today, James and I are faced with people who are going through life changing crisis. We ran into one friend at Six Flags yesterday who is going through just this. We also found some other friends in the hospital tending to their very sick little boy...with no insurance. Sometimes you want to pray, "God take them out of this....why do they have to go through such horrible circumstances?" As I started to pray this for these families, God reminded me some of the reasons that he allows us to go through times like these.

1. Trust/Faith

Matthew 14:24-33
24 but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. 25 During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. 27 But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." 28 "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." 29 "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" 32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

Now, Jesus didn't have to let him fall at all. He was completely in control of the situation, but Peter lost his focus and got scared.
Jesus had just been through the death of a family member (John the Baptist) and the disciples had JUST seen him feed 5000 people with a couple of pieces of fish and bread.
Sometimes we have to go through scary things just to remember that God is in control and that we need to Trust and Have Faith that he will provide, get us through, etc.

2. Leaning on Him
Proverbs 3:5
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

I love this verse. I actually love the whole passage, but this is the specific verse the Lord gave me this morning. Trust in the Lord and Lean Not....let me give you an example.


John 11
1 Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. 2 This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair. 3 So the sisters sent word to Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick." 4 When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." 5 Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6 Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days. 7 Then he said to his disciples, "Let us go back to Judea." 8 "But Rabbi," they said, "a short while ago the Jews tried to stone you, and yet you are going back there?" 9 Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours of daylight? A man who walks by day will not stumble, for he sees by this world's light. 10 It is when he walks by night that he stumbles, for he has no light." 11 After he had said this, he went on to tell them, "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up." 12 His disciples replied, "Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better." 13 Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep. 14 So then he told them plainly, "Lazarus is dead, 15 and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him." 16 Then Thomas (called Didymus) said to the rest of the disciples, "Let us also go, that we may die with him."

17 On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18 Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, 19 and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. 20 When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. 21 "Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask." 23 Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again." 24 Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." 25 Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26 and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" 27 "Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world." 28 And after she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. "The Teacher is here," she said, "and is asking for you." 29 When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. 30 Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. 31 When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. 32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."

33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied. 35 Jesus wept. 36 Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" 37 But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?" 38 Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39 "Take away the stone," he said. "But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days." 40 Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" 41 So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." 43 When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" 44 The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go."

45 Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, put their faith in him.

Woah, I do believe Mary and Martha were a little ticked (to say the least). Jesus was only a couple of miles away when they sent word to him. Where was he? Four days????

The thing about God's timing is that it isn't our timing. Mary and Martha so did not understand why Jesus chose to do it this way, BUT it cultivated faith and trust and belief in him. When we acknowledge God at work in any situation, miracles happen and faith is restored.


3. Praise/Glory

In both of these instances that I have shared, God received all of the Glory. Sometimes we have to praise him through the storm and give him Glory even though we don't feel like it. He deserves it.
Some of the most beautiful and moving praise and worship music is written out of pain and strife. Jesus always healed in the name of the Father so they would know who to give thanks to. Lives are changed and people are saved when we give Him all the Glory.

John 11:4 When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it."


I think it is ok to ask, "why?" My why turned into an educational experience for me. I know that both of my friends are going to be OK and God is totally going to come through for them, but I hurt to see their hurt (which is biblical,too). All I can do is pray that they will see God at work in their pain. I don't have all the words to say to them, sometimes they don't need words. Sometimes they just need Jesus and sometimes Jesus shines through the love you give to them, the shoulder you lend to cry on, the meal you take, the offer to care. Sometimes, I am learning, you have to see their pain to know that your pain isn't as bad as you thought.

Seriously?

I woke up with a word rolling around in my head again this morning. We spent some time with some dear friends last night just encouraging each other through some stuff we all have been through recently. I just came home going, "Seriously?" I can't believe our world today and how people treat each other. It seems sometimes that the church is not exactly the best place to get help, just hurt these days. It should be the other way around. The church is for people who need Jesus to get over their hurt, hunger, and hangups. Imagine that!

My word for today was illusion. I went to bed asking God why the church is like this today. I woke up with this word:
il·lu·sion 1.something that deceives by producing a false or misleading impression of reality.

2.	the state or condition of being deceived; misapprehension.

3.	an instance of being deceived.

4.

Psychology. a perception, as of visual stimuli (optical illusion), that represents what is perceived in a way different from the way it is in reality. Caleb walked up to his Nana last night and announced that he knew what a deceiver was. She said, "oh really, what is a deceiver?" He continued to explain that a deceiver is someone who lies to you, like Satan. Very smart kid! I believe that Satan has created an illusion of the church and how leadership should run the church. I actually got a picture with this word, it was kind of like the Matrix. I was in the matrix looking out at the church today. I saw person after person who had hurt me or someone close to me. They were all clueless to the matrix. Satan was there acting like a puppet master, controlling his copycat plan. He has made leadership believe that having the title is like the genie put it in the Disney movie Aladdin, "Phenominal cosmic power, itty bitty living space." The problem with that is the itty bitty living space. If you can't live life with people, how are you going to shepherd them? The only 'power' comes from creator God! I am not saying that I have it right. Nobody has it right. It won't all be "right" until Jesus comes back for his bride. I think it's going to be a very rough road to that point, though. Unless we love people and become the Love of Christ to them, we are doing a disservice to the name of Christ and I don't think that God is going to stand for that much longer. I am sorry for those who have been hurt by the church. I have been in that broken place before as well. I am so sorry that this has be come the norm for people who just don't 'fit' in. There is a stirring in my heart though of change. Not Barack Obama's kind of change, but God's kind of change. I guess in all of this mess we have to keep our spiritual eyes open. There is a war waging in a world that we can't see with human eyes over the souls of hurting people. We need to be aware that the battle doesn't end when they/we come to Jesus. It gets tougher. To see through the illusion to the "matrix" is kind of tricky. If we rely on the Holy Spirit to be our "helper" though, He will guide us through and show us the way we should go.

Hit the Wall

I think I hit a wall this week. So much has happened in just the last few months that I think it finally caught up with me. I'm all for change, it's apart of life, but so much change in so little time can be exhausting. We've got a baby coming, which is a LOT of change. Then, I had a huge embroidery job this summer and worked 12-15 hour days. Just in the last month, we've been getting ready for school, had a church change that has been a whirlwind, and are transitioning Julia to sleep in her own room. Yesterday, I could barely keep my eyes open. I wondered why and it hit me in the middle of the night during my many sleep position changes. It's just catching up to me. I'm exhausted! It'll get better, I've just got to process things and hopefully get more sleep...ha ha!

Check this pic out. My boy caught this 14" fish last weekend on his "back to school" campout with his dad. They had a blast and he (as you can see) was so proud of himself. I'm proud of this kiddo, too.

Julia is getting used to not having Caleb home during the day. She was so shocked to find that she can watch what she wants to watch on the tv while brother is gone. She's loving that. We're also working on her letters. She's doing pretty well!

1st day of 1st grade

Well, I dropped Caleb off for his first day of first grade today. I can't believe how much he's grown! He had wanted me to walk him in because we weren't sure whether or not he was supposed to go straight to his classroom or not. Well, we got there and the parking lot was filled to the brim with kindergarten parents. Caleb said, "It's ok mom, you can drop me off at the front and I can ask where I'm supposed to go." WOW! No melt down, no whining, he is so big! I have to admit, I think I cried more this year than last! I was so proud of him. Maybe it's the extra pregnancy hormones, but oh well.

Back to School

Caleb starts his 1st grade year a week from today. I am excited for him! I just can't believe that I have a first grader! Caleb is excited to see his friends, but he isn't quite sure what homework is and that kind of scares him. It's something he has brought up over the past few months. It's the only reason he doesn't want to go back to school. It's just because he doesn't know what it is. I have reassured him over and over that he will have no problem with homework and that his daddy and I will help him, but he' s not convinced.
How many times in life do we fear things just because we don't know what is behind that door? What could we be missing out on just because we won't take that next step?
Caleb will be taking that next step. He'll be fine!

Introducing...

Meet Tyler Wayne Parker! This is our best sono picture from a few weeks ago. I haven't had time to really mess with getting it uploaded lately. Well, here he is. We're excited to be welcoming him into the world sometime in December.
I was reading a great blog the other day, you can see a link to it on the side of my blog (adopting aria). Cindy was describing some of the 'wonderful' questions and comments that she has received when she tells people that she and her husband are adopting from Ethiopia (which I think is fantastic!). Anyway, it got me thinking about some of the questions all parents struggle with when they are expecting a new bundle of joy. I get looks and comments over the fact that I don't like to deliver in a hospital. I deliver in a birthing center. I guess I get more comments from older adults than people my age, but it seems like it is my choice to make and I think it is healthier for me and my child to do so. It's my opinion. I'm not going to judge someone who has an epi or c-section....heck, I had an epi with my first child and loved it! That is one thing that people comment over. The other thing is the name we have chosen. We like the name Tyler. It fits with our kids names and we just like it. So, if you don't like it, oh well.
I won't even go into the comments about weight and size and all, but we get those as well.

Here's the deal. I think everyone has an opinion on how things should be done. We wouldn't be human if we didn't. I think there is a time and a place to share those opinions, though. If you have an issue with someone's parenting style or education choice, or how their children come into existance, keep it to yourself. We're just doing what we think is best for our children.

Awkward

Life is filled with awkward moments, right? As a mom, you never know what your kids are going to say. As a pregnant person, you never know what is going to come out of other peoples' mouths. I've heard some doozies over my pregnancies.
Those aren't the awkward moments I'm talking about, though. Did you ever walk up to someone and try to speak to them only to be ignored? It happened to me tonight and it was the most uncomfortable feeling. It was weird. I don't care how upset I was at someone, I would never ignore them if they walked up to me. Very unsettling.

PB&B???!!!

MMMMM....just had me some peanut butter and banana! I didn't realize how popular this was until I plugged it in to look for some pictures. I have always loved peanut butter and banana sandwiches. I don't make them like the picture, though. I mash it all together, then put it on the bread. It helps keep the bananas from sliding out. My kids haven't actually hopped on the pb&b boat yet. Julia loves peanut butter and jelly, but Caleb would rather have turkey. Weird, I know. He just doesn't like peanut butter very much.
Another peanut butter snack that I like is pb and granny smith apples. It has to be with granny smith, though. I don't like the bland tasting apples. They just don't taste right to me.
Back to work for me.

Cake

I was totally craving cake last night. I haven't craved a lot of sweet things, which is good, but I wanted some cake with icing last night. I've been thinking about it for days. James said that he would go get me some, but it was 10 o'clock and in Pilot Point, nothing is open past 10. So, that meant he would have to go all the way to Little Elm and get me a cake. I wouldn't hear of it. So, I will wait until Saturday when we go and celebrate Papa G's birthday! Happy Birthday, Dad!




Chef Duff Goldman cake from Charm City Cakes

Fear

Wow! I wonder if this woman knew someone was taking a picture of her rear end. Let's see. Fear. I've been experiencing something the last couple of days and now I am at peace. I did something I knew I was confident was right, but had an over arching fear that would come over me and yesterday I had a panick attack about it. My poor James didn't know what to do with me. I couldn't quit crying (could be those pesky hormones) and my mind was racing. I got to thinking about it this morning and I'm ok. I just needed a freak out moment. Then, I realized this. God asks us to do things in obedience. We aren't the only ones who have second guessed Him. I won't be the last. Anyway, I did what I thought He asked me to do. Then, Satan shows up and starts whispering...."are you sure that's what God asked you to do?" "Are you sure that was from Him?" "you really shouldn't have done that...now it's all your fault." I listened.
Then I woke up this morning...yes, I am dang sure that I did the right thing because it wasn't from me and I wouldn't have put it the way that I did. So, I'm not second guessing today. I'm not the little chihuahua in the picture, waiting for the butt to fall. I am confident that God is fully capable of handling everything and that the fate of my future doesn't rely on what I did. He is fully capable of righting any wrong that I made or didn't make. So....there.

Have you ever played tug o' war and I mean played with all your might? You know how when you let go of the rope it actually hurts more than if you just held on? I feel like that today. I feel like I have been trying to hold on to the rope and pull it in the direction it should go, but meeting a lot of resistance. I think it is going to hurt when I let go because I have been holding on so tightly without even realizing it. I thought I had distanced myself enough and watched my heart so closely, but when God tries to teach us something or we make a stand to live in the ways He would have us live, you will ALWAYS meet resistance. So, whatever happens, however it turns out. Here I am, letting go.

With Great Power.....

I love the movie "Spiderman"! My favorite lines in the movie are, "With great power comes great responsiblilty." and "This is my gift, my curse."
I think that anything God gives us a leading role in, there is great responsibility. In a pastoral role, my husband has the responsibility on his life of the spiritual health of the people he is over. WOW! He will be held accountable some day for the choices he makes in regards to the people he disciples. We really all have that responsibility, I will be held accountable for what I teach my children. That is why I think the church needs to be so careful about what comes out of the pulpit! It has a ripple effect over the lives of people for generations. That's heavy! Yeah, we do boneheaded things and I really believe that God has grace for the things we do, but we learn from them. (another great movie quote...The Lion King....Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it. )
The second spiderman quote is one that I speak out loud a lot. For some reason God lets me in on things sometimes that aren't very pleasant. You can call it discernment, you can call it prophetic....I don't care, I just know that God gives me knowledge of things I would rather not know. Not all the time and sometimes I don't listen, but I can usually tell when someone is lying. It makes me sick. Like I said, not all the time, but I have learned that if I don't listen and do what God asked me to do, it can have some devistating results. It's a blessing when it comes to my kids! Don't get me wrong. ha ha. When someone I trust and want to trust does it, it's a curse. I don't know why me. Maybe God gives everyone this 'power'...i'm just a little more willing to listen than others.
Another thing we have to constantly ask ourselves is....what about my pride? I know that I can get critical, that is something I have to repent over a lot. But how many times does my pride get in the way of what God wants to do? Don't get me wrong. If my pride gets in the way, God will get someone else to do it. I'll just miss out on the blessing.

James and I have had the opportunity to do what I call "fun" ministry. I love to be able to bless people. I love to give. I tell James all the time that if I won the lottery, I'd go broke because I would want to help every sad story that fell on my doorstep. I love doing that! I love giving to those who don't have. I would rather give stuff away than receive it. The blessing is seeing what God does with what you have to give. I don't expect anything in return. I just love seeing God work in peoples lives. It's amazing.


I know I'm rambling on and on. It's just what is on my heart. I have some heavy things in there mixed with some winking moments. I just have to have an outlet to share those things.

I saw this button and thought it was very fitting. Some people would call me crafty. I am, I guess, to an extent. I have my own business. I embroider just about anything. Yes, I have one of those machines and yes, it is automatic. I can just send a design to it and it stitches it out. Facinating, I know. It's become a job, though. I have a couple of clients that have huge jobs for me. Those are a lot of work.

I like to paint. Not pictures, but rooms. I like to create. It's really a family deal....my dad and mom are both artists. They print and design t-shirts for a living. They are also musicians. Both my brothers are worship leaders. It's just in our blood.

So the button is funny, but fitting.

First Blog

Well, I've put it off for too long. People have suggested that I should blog recipes, but I think I'll do a little bit of everything. After all, life is not just for breakfast anymore.

Life is beginning and ending all around us. Why should we just go through the motions?

I am a follower of Jesus Christ. I believe in Christ. Most of all following Him. I don't believe in going through the motions at church. I believe in walking the walk 24/7. WHAT?! I'm talking worshiping daily! Does that mean I am perfect...heck no! Does it mean that I sit down with my bible and notebook in my prayer closet every single day? Not really....it means that I go throughout my day and worship God in the small things, LIFE.

I am a wife. My husband is my best friend. We talk about everything. He is souch an adventurous spirit. I am so proud of his accomplishments and his failures. Why? Well, they both shape who he is and we learn so much from God through both. He loves people and loves being around people. I love that about him. He could never be shut off in a cubicle somewhere, he has to have human contact. He is a shepherd. He loves to disciple people and is awesome at it. Some might call it spiritual babysitting, but it's actually relationship.....go figure! LOVE!

I am a mom. I have three children. Well, I have two children out of the womb and one in! I can't wait until our second son is born. Well, I can, but I am really excited to have a new life in the family. It is just refreshing. Julia is excited that she will be the only 'princess' and Caleb is excited that he will have a little brother. This is probably our last kiddo, so I'm trying to enjoy every moment. NOt all moments in pregnancy are enjoyable, though. Just ask my husband. I think he's had his head bit off more than he wishes. I'm really trying to watch it, though. HAPPINESS!

I am me. I love to sing and worship. Actually, if I don't get to worship, I get in a funky, funky mood. I taught myself how to play guitar, but I'm not very good and I am very self concious about it. I am very self consious in general. Most people don't know that about me, but I am, probably to a fault. I love my family. My goal is to raise a family that is as close as my parents have managed to make my family. I find it very sad that family can't get along. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have the support of my family. I wouldn't be very happy, that's for sure.

I guess that's it in a cereal bowl. More to come!